Why is it so hard to change our thinking?

It sounds easy to change our thinking but the problem is we get so attached to a particular line of thought. Studies teach us we think an average 60,000 thoughts per day! – with this amount of mental chat going on, it is not the random thoughts that will change our lives. It is the recurring thoughts, the ones we dwell on or keep coming back, that we should ‘flag’. These build a nest in our head and direct our behaviour. Behaviour repeated quickly forms a habit, and habits carve our destiny.

It might sound like, “I could never achieve that…I’ve always been this way”, or silent self-talk, “You fool!…Noone could really love you”.

So how do I change when I am attached to a line of thinking that I have let settle in my mind? I can examine and dissect how “life experiences, family, events” have influenced my patterns of thinking. The problem is, if I leave it there I remain the victim (something happened to me, something was done to me).

The key is taking the next step: taking responsibility for and owning the viewpoint I’ve adopted. Whether I have accumulated or had a pessimistic or optimistic outlook reinforced, it is only the act of taking personal responsibility that frees me to choose.

Then I need to be on the lookout and consciously “flag” the recurring thoughts. Recognizing these are only an attachment, perhaps I let them visit; but separating them from my Identity. Only when I recognize these beliefs or habits are not ‘me’, can I have the strength or ability to exert my will (make a decision) to detach and adopt another line of thinking – “retrain my brain”.

So a change of thinking takes humility, courage and persistence. It is not a small feat. But it brings mental resilience – which is the great reward – and new possibilities. And let those watching this feat be gracious, lest they be judged by their own standards.